“Shawty, I’ma only tell you this once, you the illest (Ba, ba-da, doh) And for your loving’, I’ma Die Hard like Bruce Wills (Ba, ba-da, doh) You have spark, you got spunk,” Nicki Minaj sang. You have something that all the girls want. You’re like a candy store and I’m a toddler. You got me wanting more and m-m-more of Your love, your love (yeah),” I felt that.
Oh, my goodness, where have all my manners gone? You’re probably wondering who I am. I’m simply the girl next-door. My given name is Jazmine, and my surname is Warrior. No, I’m not a warrior’s descendant, but I suppose that could be the case since my father’s entire family has served in the army.
Here’s a little backstory: when I was born, my mother died from complications related to giving birth and losing a lot of blood. My father looked after me as an only child with the support of his sisters and brothers. As a result, you can imagine all the politics around who thinks what is best for me. My father, on the other hand, has always been by my side and has instilled in me vital values such as discipline, family, love, and faith. I had always wondered why he couldn’t get past my mother, and it wasn’t until my 15th birthday that he finally answered my unasked question. “Your mother and I both knew having you would be a risk before you arrived. I won’t lie to you, my angel, it upset me that she was willing to lose me, and I held back from fully loving her throughout the pregnancy because I knew she was leaving. While I was seeking a solution, your grandmother looked after her. There was nothing I, or any doctor, could have done to prevent it. She took my hand and pledged to be by my side on the night of the delivery. She made me vow to look after you, and every time I see her in you, I must remember that commitment. When I first held you, I was overjoyed, and your mother was absolutely delighted, as well. Now, I know you and many others are attempting to match me with someone, but there is no one I would rather be with than my lovely wife, who is patiently waiting for me in the afterlife.”
He waited 15 years to tell me the story, and I’m glad he did because it taught me the true meaning of unconditional love and the type of love I want from a partner. I grew up with the notion that love is simple, but people chose to complicate it. However, as I began dating, I understood that you might fall in love with the wrong person, and because this is not the person you should be with, complications arise. I am currently 26 years old, and when I say I have been around the block, I precisely mean that. I’m sure you can tell I’m a hopeless romantic based on what little I’ve told you about my family. I’ve always been, but after being hurt so many times, I’ve concluded that men irritate me. I don’t understand why I had to sift through schmucks to find ‘The One.’ But don’t get me wrong, I was usually the problem, but remember that unconditional love I mentioned? Yeah, they couldn’t handle me.
Michael Evans, to begin with, was my first. He was a sweetheart. A very attractive young man who smelled good and was well-behaved. I met him when we were in high school. Funny story: he was dating one of my friends, but after they broke up, she began acting strangely towards me, and before we knew it, Michael was walking me back to the hostel, and we began to hang out more, and then, bam, he asked me to be his girlfriend. He was well-versed in how to treat a lady in high school and had a detailed understanding of my love language. He was always willing to spend on me. Every month on the 14th, he’d take me out on a date and bring me flowers.
In general, I’m an emotional wreck, but Michael adored that about me; he was always available emotionally and always said the sensible things when I felt like crying myself to sleep. I liked how everyone at school admired us as a couple because we were always together. Unfortunately, I felt that we would have to break up at some point. We both had intentions to move after matric, so it only made sense to allow ourselves to experience university to the fullest. Perhaps he didn’t like the plan and, rather than breaking up with me later, chose to break up with me a week before final exams, saying, “Jaz, I feel like you’re putting so much pressure on me, and I can’t seem to focus on my studies.” That was a cowardly act, but I couldn’t ignore his feelings, so I let it go and cried myself to sleep without him.
There were young boys who attempted to explore their manhood with me before Michael, but they never got the chance because my father taught me the value of a woman withholding herself till, she meets the ‘right’ man. Which is why I thought Michael was the ‘right’ one because he never made me feel like all he wanted was sex. However, unlocking that door placed me face to face with a new girl. My confidence grew, and it reflected in the way I walked. Apart from my intelligence and affection, I knew what I could bring to the table. I improved my appearance by wearing colognes and learning how to apply make-up to enhance my beauty. I discovered that sex is a source of power, and that we live in a world where men are continuously lusting after women. By the time I arrived at university, I had made up my mind that I would not start another committed relationship. Rather, I planned to embrace my womanhood and live my best life. My father and I fought during this period of my life because he wanted me to concentrate on my studies, earn a business degree, and follow in his footsteps as an entrepreneur. I, on the other hand, had different ideas. I made the decision to leave home and study music in Johannesburg.
The first day at AFDA university was incredible; it was a world full of talented individuals who were all there to pursue their passions in the creative sector that is known as the entertainment industry. It seemed like the proper place to be, except there was so much competition that if you didn’t believe in your craft, you were doomed to fail. The other gender was drooling at me from the time I walked in. To top it off, all my housemates were stunning, so when we all walked together, it was a solid powerhouse of attractive first years. No, truly, when I stated that my plan was to chase my aspirations and live my best life, I meant it. Discipline, on the other hand, was something I battled with. I was the kind to have a good time, but I was having way too much fun.
Even Kabelo had the nerve to criticize my weakness for why he never considered me as girlfriend material. Argh…when I first arrived at Kingsway student accommodation, he was the first guy I met. Apart from being a jerk for doing all the wonderful things for me but not wanting me to be his girl, Kabelo Peterson was a good guy. He had gorgeous, rich dreadlocks and always smelt fantastic. By the way, I have a thing for men that smell good and know how to take care of themselves because it indicates that we share a common interest in cleanliness. Unlike Michael, Kabelo kept me hidden from the rest of the world. He never mentioned me, his friends were unaware of my presence, and I knew no one important in his life. Because he was so busy, he couldn’t always make time for me. I didn’t mind at the time because I didn’t want to be in a relationship, but can a girl be appreciated? I felt used, but I couldn’t describe it since every time he came to see me, he brought gifts, chocolates, drinks, and food. All the things that took my attention away from the fact that he was purchasing my time. Until one day, after he had left my place, he decided to post a picture of his ex-girlfriend with the message, “You the only one I see myself with.” The Audacity! I didn’t even bother to tell him about it because I knew I wasn’t the “perfect” girl for him. I continued to cry myself to sleep and mind my own business.
I went out with my friends after a week and met Mr. Noble. I didn’t think he was appealing at first because he was a DJ and Zulu, and we all know how that story ends. I refer to him as Mr. Noble because he made me feel immature and that I needed to change. That night was a blast; I was still experimenting with make-up and learning how to do my hair at the time, so I wasn’t in my best look, but he liked something about me. He was odd and secluded. I doubt we would have talked if I hadn’t asked him to pass the pipe. But as soon as we began conversing, I realized he wasn’t a bad guy. He only wanted to be the greatest in the industry and take care of his siblings. The night had to come to an end, so he asked if he can walk me out. Now, I don’t want to give too much information away because I’m keeping that for my Aquarius man, but Mr. Noble made sure to plant a kiss on my lips that made me think about him on the way back home.
He paid me a visit the following day. He made sure to bring some of my favorite snacks and foods. Please, guys, make sure you grasp the significance of not showing up to your woman empty-handed. Come on now, it’s like a culture. Anyway, spending time with Mr. Noble made me realize that I may have been too harsh in my opinion of him. He made it clear that he wanted me to be his girlfriend, but I requested for more time because I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to commit. Also, I wasn’t about to forsake my plans only for a yellow bone I had just met. I went about my business as usual, making time for him whenever he was available. One of the things I disliked about him was that whenever he came to see me, he would fall asleep after we’d finished our thing. What am I? A guest room where you come to sleep and then immediately bounce when you wake up? I’m sorry…No.
We didn’t work out, obviously. I was far too crazy for him, and all he wanted was a woman who would listen to him and not speak her mind, because anytime I did, he would tell me that I was still young and needed to progress. He blocked me on all his social media channels after eight months, but I would still wile out anytime I saw him at a club because… how do you do that? I recall pouring him with a glass of cold water the last time I saw him. To begin with, I was wrong for choosing violence, although I was surprised at how he ignored me when I wanted to speak with him, all because he wanted to impress a female. I would have left if he had just said, “I don’t want to talk,” but instead YOU IGNORE ME. Sir, did you ignore me the previous time you came to sleep at my place?
Anyway, before Aquarius man, the universe had placed two other males in my path. I shall, however, resume the story the following Sunday. Thank you for taking the time to read, and I eagerly await your response.
From Jazmine Warrior, I hope to see you soon.
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