Hello, my name is Jane. This journal is an expression of my perspective of what it is to be a woman rather than one that attempts to define what being a woman is. Being a woman has taught me that no matter what decisions you make, they will always come back to haunt you because if they don’t align with their beliefs, you must be wrong. Yes, most of the decisions I’ve made have been impacted by my emotions, and occasionally I can agree that those decisions were poor ones, but at the time, I made them because it was what I wanted to do.
For me, being a woman means you bleed every month, and for some, mood swings, period pains, and other things are a few to sway our emotions, but living in a world where that is just part of being a woman means you must deal with it (as though we had asked for it). I learned that no matter how compassionate and understanding you are, you will never be enough because, after all, you are only a woman.
I’ve been in nearly five different relationships in my 35 years of life. I’ve been with cheating men, dishonest men, faithful men, men who don’t communicate, men who are impolite, non-smokers, atheists, and many others. They all have one thing in common: they are all males. They don’t know how to comprehend what it’s like to be a woman as a man, and hey, as a female like all my other women. We may never fully grasp them, but unlike them, we aspire to do so. We tend to suppress our feelings to satisfy them. We try to be better individuals for them. At times many females have struggled in their attempt to please a male. Once again, whatever path you pursue if they don’t agree with you, you’re wrong.
Being a woman means that no matter how often you apologize for wounding their pride, it will never be adequate because doing so merely amounts to acknowledging that you were at fault. It doesn’t matter how you feel or why you did what you did; you apologized, which implies you recognized you were wrong. But it’s not that simple because being a woman is more multifaceted than right and wrong, and your decisions are often influenced by how someone treats you. For example, you may cheat because they have cheated. It’s not to suggest it’s right, but if they hadn’t deceived you, you wouldn’t have felt that that was the only way to express how deeply upset you were. If they betray you and you choose to leave, you will be viewed as a fool because all men cheat. How about you find a man that doesn’t cheat? They make you feel like it is a luxury since they are the treasure, and you should feel fortunate given how you have been treated like garbage. If they treat you disrespectfully, talk down to you, or make you feel unworthy, because their pride is bruised, you provoked them.
In the society in which we live, men get away with their misdeeds, while women are expected to submit to them. However, the situation is more complex than that, since women have worked for decades to at least receive the same opportunity as men. For example, having careers, however, they overlooked being understood and listened to. The males decided to give them what they wanted while still disrespecting and emotionally manipulating them behind the scenes. As time passed, new generations of women decided enough was enough. Whether it’s to not silence abuse that is sexual, emotional, physical, or mental. Some individuals are unwilling to give up this, and while some men have improved as men, the great majority of our women are still in agony.
Although some women have encountered spiritual awakening, many of us have lost sight of who we are as women and are still wrestling with what it means to be a woman. I can’t cover everything in one piece, but I now see that, in the eyes of both society and religious text, being a woman just means standing beside your partner. Perhaps the word man represents this in a woman; we lack identity because we were created to accommodate them. And this is where the conflict lies, as few of us are not at ease with it. I certainly am not. Therefore, even if I offend you, I have reasonable grounds for doing so, and if you choose not to listen to me, brace yourself for a quarrel.
Even while I may not understand what it means to be a woman, I am aware that no matter what decisions you make, it will always hurt their pride. So, in the words of a tired woman, “screw it.” Be the woman who brings you joy. Be yourself, whether you’re a good or bad girl. You do you, whether you want babies or not. Whether you make millions or just want to be taken care of, honey, don’t be ashamed of any of it. Whether you’re a religious girl or not, we’ve all been condemned as women. Simply because we have a bleeding vulva, it will never be enough. Hell, some even treat their mothers disrespectfully. As a result, I must urge you to stand up for yourself because no one else will. Be honest with yourself, and if that choice makes the most sense for your instincts, mama, persist with it. Remember that the decisions you make have consequences, and even if the consequences are unfavourable, learn from your mistakes.
Even though we have repeatedly neglected our needs to appease them, it doesn’t matter anymore because the moment they have the chance to mistreat you unjustly, they will. Therefore, respect, love, and take good care of yourself. Instead of imitating the oppressor, avoid using aggression during confrontations. Decide not to be a victim either, since doing so leads you to think that other people are supposed to rescue you while only you can rescue yourself. Stop hating on other women because they are experiencing the same things as you are. Let’s improve for our own sakes and for our mental health.
To all the different kinds of women, whether you identify as non-binary, straight, bisexual, lesbian, transgender, or any other way, from one worn-out woman to the next. Finding out why you are the way you are is not your burden. Your role is to accept every aspect of yourself, including the perplexing and unattractive ones. Accept every characteristic of yourself, and even if you don’t understand yourself, people who genuinely love you will. They’ll figure out how to pay attention to you. Because being a woman, for me, is a blessing in disguise. I’m Jane, and I’m here to tell you to be a woman.
Thank you for taking the time to read “Being a Wo_man.” This piece was inspired by my journey as well as my friends’ experiences of what it’s like to be a woman in modern-society. I named the character Jane because she embodies all the women that relate to her perspective. If you enjoy my writing, please subscribe, like, and comment on the articles. For any updates, follow on all social channels. That being said, see you next time 🙂
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